1. |
Furlough Blues
03:36
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I got drunk alone
Watching TV
Thinking about what’s yet to come
Kissed my daughters head
While she was sleeping
Stayed there till I saw the sun, saw the sun
Furlough blues
How about you?
Waiting for some good news
To interrupt the truth
Everyday’s the same
There’s no difference
Used up all my good ideas
I’m drowning in time
With no ending
Hold it all together dear
Furlough blues
How about you
Waiting for some good news
To interrupt the truth
What’s today's date?
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2. |
Effort and Reward
03:11
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See you walking out with that saleswoman’s smile
Gonna ask them if you can play too
Now you’re coming back with a face full of fire
Guess those fuckers just weren’t ready for you
Oh it’s not fair there’s no law that links together effort and reward
You don’t wanna play anymore and I can’t blame you
Try to cheer you up but there’s a crack in your cup
I can see that it’s still eating you
Oh other kids are such fucking dicks
They don’t deserve to breathe the air you do
Oh it’s not fair there’s no law that links together effort and reward
You don’t wanna play anymore and I can’t blame you
Wish I did not have to teach you to live
With all of this bullshit
Something in your eye as you started to smile
As you pushed that kid and took his ball
I should have played the cop but didn’t want you to stop
As you kicked it hard over the wall
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3. |
Nursery
03:32
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It breaks you down
She still finds it hard to say goodbye
But soon as i’m out of her sight
She gets on with it, been making friends with other kids
They tell me that she’s doing fine
All of the small
Accepted heartbreaks
That you must swallow down
Like bitter medicine
All of the hurt
That you must go through
So commonly felt that
Not valid anymore
All of the guilt
That you feel daily
That you’re failing in some way
You can’t determine
All of the pain
That you must handle
Pales in comparison
to the love in my heart
The love in your heart
The love in your heart
The love in your heart
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4. |
White Noise
03:18
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The spinning rock that we live on top came to a standstill yesterday
That breath intake when what couldn’t shake ever so slightly starts to sway
It’s all noise until someone starts singing from the heart
It’s all noise till you take a long look into the dark
The mask has slipped fabric torn and ripped though some still choose to look away
Though the streets are clear something happened here there’s a sleeping giant awake
The noise and fear, sound fury and tears will exhaust itself and abate
Though life returns and the sun still burns all that anger still lies in wait
It’s all noise until someone starts singing from the heart
It’s all noise till you take a long look into the dark
It’s hard to take the blame when you’re not used to being wrong
We don’t question out history here how we got to this happy end
The parts we hide and the ghosts inside will unbury themselves again
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5. |
Hanging By A Thread
03:28
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Drinking in the day again
To make the hours run
It’s been slowing like a knife that’s being twisted
Hardly spoken to my friends
Or really anyone
I’m so grateful to the couple that persisted
Hanging by a thread
Trying to keep it all in check
I lost my grip a while ago
And haven’t found it yet
But I will keep searching
I will smoke it out for you
I was feeling fine
Before it all tore through my mind
And then suddenly I lost it and was reeling
That’s happened a few times
It’s just sneaks up upon me blind
Oh I Guess I don’t know how I’m really feeling
Hanging by a thread
Trying to keep it all in check
I lost my grip a while ago
And haven’t found it yet
But I will keep searching
I will smoke it out for you
Like that mattress in the street
That’s been rained on this whole week
I felt too heavy to be lifted
I can see you suffering
I know you need some help
We’re all running on the least I’ve ever run on
You look after me
I’m gonna do my best for you
Gonna summon all the grit that love can summon
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6. |
Sad Song
02:43
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I was seventeen
Too stoned to go out
Getting drunk alone
In my parents house
Wanted to be quiet
Cos my head felt loud
Fore I met you
I never let it out
No sad song made me feel blue
How I did fore I met you
Oh I had some friends
But none that I know now
I felt more alone
When they were around
My grandpa died round then
Cancer ground him down
Something changed in me
And I acted out
No sad song made me feel blue
how I did fore I met you
But things would get better
I just wouldn’t know till later
I know when you grow up
You’ll know your share of pain
I learned a lot from mine
And you’ll do the same
Can’t say I’ll see that clear
When my hearts breaking
But without the dark
The light wouldn’t show a thing
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7. |
Despite
03:14
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Despite all the love i’ve been shown
All the care and the tenderness
All of the time and pieces of your mind
I still find myself feeling like shit
Despite all the love I’ve been shown
The hands that you lent me to hold
The warmth of your heart that brought light to the dark
I still find myself feeling alone
Despite all the love I’ve been shown
I never learned how to be tough
With each blow I roll but its taking a toll
Are you all just made of sterner stuff
Does it get easier to cope
Or easier to fake that you’re fine
Is anyone sane under all of the strain
How does anyone stay in the lines.
I’m trying to keep my mind
If I have been shown all this love
How do people cope who have not
I’m only just learning how tough life can turn
I salute those keeping their heads up
To everyone carrying on
Still finding the strength left to smile
Still playing your part shrapnel lodged in your heart
After trial after trial after trial
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8. |
Petrol
05:14
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I stared at the moon
As I got petrol
Somewhere out on the M4
I paid and I left
I smiled and said thank you
200 miles from your door
My heart still
Doesn’t beat right until
I’m home sleeping by your side
It’s not like it’s
Not had enough practice
Guess it won’t ever feel right
I hadn’t said a word
In maybe 2 hours
Was starting to feel erased
I put on a tape
And sang along with it
Was thinking about your face
My heart still
Doesn’t beat right until
I’m home sleeping by your side
It’s not like it’s
Not had enough practice
Guess it won’t ever feel right
I am lonesome and in love with you
I’ll be home soon
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9. |
Wonder How You Are
03:06
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Dickhead older brother
And overbearing mother
Wasn’t much room at home for you
I’d come round to your house
On wednesdays when they were out
And kiss you till both our lips were bruised
I wonder how you are
I wonder how you are
I always mean to write
And then don’t
Her brother became a banker
Her mother died of cancer
Her Dad never played much of a role
I heard she had a baby
Her brother he went crazy
Was born again to reclaim his soul
I wonder how you are
I wonder how you are
I always mean to write
And then don’t
People grow apart
Toughen their tender hearts
But I’m sure you're still the girl I knew
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Benedict Benjamin London, UK
Benedict Benjamin is Ben Rubinstein, formerly of The Mariner’s Children and Peggy Sue
(Wichita). His
debut album ‘Night Songs’ is a collection of timeless compositions recorded in a
series of churches, bedrooms and kitchens across London and Kent with producer Dan Blackett
(Landshapes, Bella Union).
... more
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